Five Times Jim Kirk's Mouth Landed Somewhere
by smallearthcat
Summary: Five Times Jim Kirk's Mouth Landed Somewhere by Accident and One Time It Hit Its Mark. Kirk/McCoy slash.


1.

Jim was drunk again, this time enough to puke his guts out. Which he did, as soon as he was near enough not to miss the toilet. Unfortunately, he estimated his distance incorrectly and his lips brushed the edge of the toilet as he lifted his head, causing him to grimace. He brushed his teeth five times and even considered washing his mouth with soap.

2.

Bones had taken him to some seedy little bar on the other side of town from the Academy. It wasn't really his sort of scene (even when he _was_ a townie, he hadn't really gone for townie bars), but he wasn't having too bad a time.

He wasn't, that is, until he'd accidentally picked up a beer bottle that wasn't his and discovered upon taking a drink that it was filled with piss rather than beer. Apparently someone either hadn't been able to make it to the bathroom or hadn't been able to wait while it was occupied. Either way, Jim spit it out immediately and insisted they leave. He never set foot inside that bar again.

3.

Jim never really expected to have problems in the mess hall, although he shouldn't have been surprised when he did. Just because he'd managed not to have a food allergy incident in years didn't mean he should have gotten complacent about it. It was all Bones' fault, anyway. If he hadn't been distracting Jim while they were getting their food, Jim never would have missed the fact that he'd ended up with something that had pears in it.

It was obvious what had happened the second he'd taken a bite and he broke out in hives. It was a damn good thing his best friend was a doctor.

4.

Jim hadn't actually meant to kiss Sulu; it just sort of happened. They were on a diplomatic away mission, which left them with quite a bit of free time when there were no negotiations going on. That would have been great, except for the fact that one of the ambassadors was obviously looking to sleep with Jim, and Jim just wasn't interested.

By the end of their fourth day on the planet, Jim could hardly let his guard down if he didn't want to get taken by surprise, so it was unfortunate that he did just that when he was sure the ambassador was otherwise engaged. He suddenly found himself in an empty corridor with the ambassador closing in and no easy way to slip away.

With perfect timing, though, Jim rounded a corner just as someone else was coming his way and pretty much ran straight into them. Their bodies slammed together, and Jim didn't even try to dodge it when there was a face suddenly falling toward his. Their lips met just as the ambassador caught up, and Jim had never been more grateful for being a little clumsy.

The ambassador quickly made stammered apologies for interrupting as the two disentangled themselves, and Jim was left staring at Sulu's shocked face. He stepped to the side and gave Sulu a cocky grin. "As you were, Lieutenant."

5.

Jim was almost, but not quite, surprised to find himself licking the floor of the Enterprise's sickbay. He really didn't want to be doing so, but he couldn't seem to help it. They'd been given a bottle of alcohol by the natives on their latest away mission, and naturally, Jim had gone to find Bones so they could try it out together.

The problem was, though, that as soon as he'd taken the first sip, Jim couldn't seem to get enough. Before Bones could even lift his glass, Jim had snatched it out of his hands and finished it off. Jim had the bottle in his hands seconds later, downing as much as he could before Bones got hold of it and started trying to wrestle it from him. In the struggle, the bottle ended up falling to the floor and shattering, splashing liquid all over not only Bones' shirt, but the floor as well.

When Bones tried to pick him up off the floor, Jim resisted, sucking up as much liquid as he could manage before he was hauled away from it. As soon as Bones got him up, though, Jim registered the alcohol on his shirt and dove for it. He sucked hard on the fabric, wresting liquid from it while Bones then tried to fend him off. Eventually, he found himself strapped to one of the beds, struggling fiercely while Bones quickly cleaned up the floor and got Nurse Chapel to dispose of his shirt.

A small amount of the liquid went into a stoppered vial for testing, but as soon as there was none left in the open air, Jim relaxed, no longer feeling the overwhelming need to consume it. Bones did tests on both Jim and the liquid left in the vial but determined that there would be no lasting effects, provided Jim was never faced with whatever it was again. Jim had no intention of letting that happen, anyway.

1.

Jim had been staring consideringly at Bones since the second he stepped on the bridge. He knew he should stop because not only was he distracted, but other people were starting to notice. He turned away finally, staring back at the viewscreen, which showed nothing at all exciting. When Bones left the bridge a few minutes later, Jim tried and failed to keep himself from watching.

For as often as Jim was prone to thinking of people in a sexual manner, he really hadn't ever considered his best friend like that. From the moment they met, he'd known they would be friends, and he'd always kept his friends off his list of potential sex partners. It was just...friends were more important than that, always. But then he'd found out that Bones did yoga.

That was kind of awesome - although how he hadn't known before then, Jim wasn't sure - especially because yoga was Jim's preferred way to relax. He'd always been a very physical person, and working the tension out of his body was the best way he'd found to manage to calm himself down. Considering how stressful being the captain of a starship was, he found himself turning to it more and more often.

So, with the discovery that Bones did yoga, too, Jim suggested that they do it together. All the work they both had to do made him wish to be back at the Academy sometimes, just so he'd have a little more time to spend with his friend. But this, he figured, would give them more time together, even if it was going to be of the non-talking variety. Having free time to spend with Bones was always good.

Bones had looked skeptical at Jim's suggestion, but that was probably just because he figured Jim wouldn't make for very calming company. Jim had totally proved him wrong. It had been calming exercise, and though they really hadn't spoken much, it felt like they were saying volumes.

Jim didn't know what it was initially, but there was something different about the atmosphere than what was normally between them. He'd watched Bones carefully, trying to figure out what was different. His friend's body was all lithe, smooth motions as they moved from pose to pose, and it was something he'd never seen from Bones, such grace and sensuality of movement. It was about that time that Jim figured out what was going on. He was undeniably attracted to Bones.

And the thing was, after that, he couldn't help noticing the grace of Bones' movements all the time. It was there when he was fixing up a patient, it was there when he was working at one of the stations on the bridge, and hell, it was even there when he was eating. It was all serving to drive Jim a little bit crazy.

Jim had always loved Bones, ever since the first time he'd done a patch-up job after Jim had been in a fight and not said a word about it. Oh, it was obvious he disapproved, but instead of saying so, he just quietly accompanied Jim the next time Jim wanted to go out. The fights had somehow gotten less frequent after that.

But now, Jim was seeing how easily loving Bones could turn into being _in_ love with Bones, and he didn't know what to do with his new-found knowledge. He knew what he wanted to have happen, the ultimate goal so to speak, but he just wasn't sure of how to get there. And really, he wasn't sure Bones would even reciprocate, but even so, even with the risk he'd have to take, he found himself wanting to take the chance.

Possibly against his better judgment, Jim joined Bones for yoga again a week later. It was going well, and Jim felt good, enjoying the time and even the strange atmosphere that was once again there. And as they were finishing up, he found his chance.

Jim was helping Bones up from the floor, but instead of releasing his hand, Jim flipped it so Bones' wrist was up and slowly pulled Bones' arm up to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss to the pulse point in his wrist. Jim lifted his eyes to meet Bones' as lips met wrist.

"Jim?" Bones asked, and his voice sounded shaky, uncertain.

Jim let their arms drop, but he still didn't release his grip on Bones' hand. "Please tell me I'm not the only one who felt something different going on here?"

It was difficult for Jim, allowing himself to be so vulnerable, but if he couldn't trust his vulnerability with Bones, he couldn't trust it with anyone, and God knew he couldn't be invulnerable all the time. He held his breath, waiting for Bones to answer.

"No, you're not the only one," Bones answered quietly.

Jim let out his breath in a huge sigh. "Does that mean...? Are we-?"

"We can, if you want."

Jim doesn't trust whatever might come out of his mouth at this point, so he just nods frantically and pulls Bones into a kiss.


End file.
